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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26922499">Home</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherry_Sofa_729/pseuds/Cherry_Sofa_729'>Cherry_Sofa_729</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abandonment, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bathing/Washing, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Being Gross, Fleas, Fluff, Gen, Gross, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Poor Hygiene, Sleepy Cuddles, Touch-Starved, mentioned thoughts of suicide</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 01:40:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,720</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26922499</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherry_Sofa_729/pseuds/Cherry_Sofa_729</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus has been left for days, weeks now. Finally, the sides are coming to take him back to the light. But he’s not exact in good shape.</p><p>Please comment if I need to tag anything!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders &amp; Everyone</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>145</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Warning- self harm and short incest mention, as well as graphic descriptions of poor hygiene</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">The subconscious was dark and dingy.</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The house was landmarked by the completely caved in ceiling, the upper floor falling into the lower one, as though a tornado had came through, or a giant had stepped upon it.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Do you think he’s home?” Roman asked quietly, as though to avoid disturbing some lurking monster. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Janus bit his lip. “Hopefully.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">There was no door, it appearing to have been blown off its hinges. Going down the dark, dingy hallway, the horrible, rotting smell became apparent, as well as the incessant drone of flies. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">As they reached the kitchen the smell became too oppressive to handle, flies gathering in huge clouds over broken glasses and plates. Pots and pans littered the floor, the glass of the oven missing, the fridge on its side. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The path between the living room and the kitchen was blocked by the caved in upper floor. Patton spotted remnants of a bed and a chest of drawers among the wreckage.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The living room, once they reached it, was equally destroyed, the couch shredded and bloodstained, small Tv bashed in. Flies feasted on the blood dripping down the walls as mold grew in the carpeting </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Where is he?” Logan asked. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Virgil bit his lip. “He can’t be upstairs, it’s destroyed.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Janus looked out the back door, though his gaze was seeing much farther than that. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“He’s in the greenhouse.”</span>
</p><p class="p3">———</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The greenhouse windows were all smashed in, the plants rotting and letting off the same terrible stench. Janus looked around the room wistfully, remembering. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Remus?” He called. “We’ve come to take you to the light side!” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Come on out kiddo!” Patton did his best to keep his voice from wavering. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Virgil’s eyes suddenly snapped to under one of the tables. He quickly made motions for the others to shut up. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Remus? It’s Virgil. I can see you under there.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">What they previously thought was a lump of vines began to twist and move.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">It darted to the corner of the greenhouse so fast it was a blur in even Virgil’s eye. The slick, wet sound of tentacles squirming amongst each other was followed by the sound of nails scratching against skin. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">A huge red lamp-like eye peered out from the mass of tentacles. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s3">“Leave me ALONE!” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The roar was deafening, raspy like rusted spoons being dragged across wood. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“You’ve left me alone so far, just go and let me ROT!” Remus shrieked. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Roman gave Janus a panicked look.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Do you know what I’ve been THINKING?! Since you ABANDONED me?!” His raw voice clearly had been worn down from screaming. “DO YOU KNOW HOW EASY IT IS TO KILL YOURSELF WHEN YOU’RE ALONE?!!!!” He shrieked. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">And then Janus realized a particular nuance to the horrendous stench. The metallic smell of blood. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Okay.“ Janus said as calmly as he could. “I know you’re very upset-“</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“You LEFT me!” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“And I apologize-“</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“ALL ALONE! ALL ALONE!” He shrieked, a sickening banging sound following, his hand slamming into the wood floor. “YOU PROMISED! YOU FUCKING PROMISED!”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Janus knew he had to try a different approach. “Shhh shhh shhh baby.” He cooed softly. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <em>
    <span class="s3">Quiet and slow. </span>
  </em>
  <span class="s2">He thought. </span>
  <em>
    <span class="s3">That’s the key. </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus’ screaming died down to pathetic wails of misery and Janus relaxed a touch. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“You’re probably hungry, aren’t you?” The ball that was Remus shifted at that. “I know it’s scary to be so alone, hurt and hungry.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Lonely.” Remus admitted quietly, voice cracking like he was on the verge of tears again, or he was just sore from the screaming</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Here.” Logan piped up, fishing a granola bar from his pocket and holding it out to hopefully tempt Remus from his hiding place. “It’s not much, but we can get you more if you come with us.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">A green, shockingly dry tentacle darted out and coiled around the granola bar, bringing it in. The wrapper was hastily torn off and Remus shoved it into his mouth, chewing loudly.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Baby, can you come out?” Janus tried. </span>
  <em>
    <span class="s3">This has to work, please. </span>
  </em>
  <span class="s2">“Jannie wants to see you! I’ve missed you terribly these past few months-“</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“LIAR!” Remus screamed, followed by the granola bar wrapper getting thrown at Jan’s face. “YOU PROMISED TO COME BACK FOR ME, AND YOU NEVER DID!”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Virgil gave Janus a look. That wasn’t- that couldn’t be true. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">But at the pale, disturbed look on Janus’ face, he knew it was the truth. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He had to help, regardless of what Janus had promised Remus. The duke was suffering, dying, going insane. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Hey Remus, it’s Virgil. I know Janus seems like he’s lying, but we really have missed you. It’s been years since I’ve really talked to you, so, please, please come out.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">One beat of silence. Two. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“You really want to see me?”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Virgil could’ve cried with relief. “Yes.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Slowly, Remus came out from under the table. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The first thing that hit everyone was relief. The second thing was the SMELL. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Patton was the first one to turn and cough, eyes watering, and Logan quickly followed. The stench was so atrocious it permeated every corner of the room. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus was so caked in dirt he looked like he slammed his face into a charcoal grill. Grime was so deep in his skin Logan was doubtful all the scrubbing in the world could get it off of him. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">His hair, which had always been long, was so greasy it looked wet, knotted into huge rats nests and mangled into clumps. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">His clothes were stained with all manner of horrible colours, bright yellows that looked like cat puke to the deep reds of blood. They were ripped like rags, draping off him with how skinny he was. Scars littered his figure, bruises on his forehead, still bleeding, definitely infected cuts on his cheek and hands. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">His makeup looked less like carefully messy and more like smudged charcoal around his eyes, barely hiding the massive under-eye bags from lack of sleep, pale skin, and sallow cheeks.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Virgil wanted to burn him alive. Or, maybe just all his skin off, so he could be rid of the dirt. Of the smell. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He took a step closer and got another whiff of… whatever muck Remus was slathered in and almost keeled over. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">His senses told him not to touch him, there was no way some sort of parasite hadn’t hitched a ride with the duke in this state. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Okay Remus.” Janus tried desperately to remain calm, even as the duke looked more like a corpse than a human being. “You ready to come home with us?”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus nodded frantically, a dirt-caked hand scraping against the back of his neck. He lunged for Janus, who quickly stepped back. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus looked shocked and upset for a moment. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Janus frowned as well. “I know love. I want to hug you too, but I can’t until I know you’re not infectious.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus’ face morphed into a scowl. “‘M fine.” He mumbled, scratching his neck again. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Janus pursed his lips. “Let’s go home, love.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus, nervous, backed away. “B-but you just got here!“</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Janus smiled, marking </span>
  <span class="s3">confusion </span>
  <span class="s2">down as one of the duke’s symptoms. “I know. You’re coming with us, okay?” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus continued to back away. His eyes darted around at the light sides, going wide with fear. His chest rose up and down as his breath came faster and faster. His hands began to claw and scratch at himself, at his arms, back and thighs. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Shhh shhh shhh.” Janus quickly tried to calm him down. “Do you not want to come home with us?”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Light sides!” He rasped. “Scary, hateful, no no no no!” He bowed his head, gripping fistfuls of matted hair and pulling, grunting in pain. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Logan stepped forward now. “I know you probably think that, but we are more than happy to take you in, especially in your current state.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“We love you, kiddo.” Patton piped up. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“We miss you.” Roman continued. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus looked around at all five of them…</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">And screamed. </span>
</p><p class="p3">———</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He screamed so loud and for so long that his voice began to break. He didn’t even recognize the gloved hand taking his filthy palm and slowly sinking him down, rising up in the mind palace living room. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The lights were so bright. He fell to his knees and put his hands over his ears. He had to scream loud enough to shatter the glass, to be back in the mess and filth where he belonged. He didn’t belong in this pretty, quaint home, not when he was creating a stain of black dirt on the floor. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Remus, breathe in for four seconds.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">That voice, he knew that voice…</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Breathe in, Remus, okay? Look at me.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He opened his eyes and looked up at Virgil. His eight eyes, fangs, and spider legs soothed him. This was the Virgil he knew. Not that fake, plastic one with a normal face. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Breathe in for four seconds.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus struggled to stop screaming, but managed to follow instructions. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Hold for seven seconds.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">His lungs were shaking with the effort, and he barely managed. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Now exhale for eight seconds.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">They went through the same cycle over and over again until Remus could stop screaming for even a moment. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">While they were doing this, Virgil slowly walked back down the hallway to the bathroom, and Remus instinctively followed. Janus and Logan were getting a bath hot and ready. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">They came in the simply massive bathroom and Roman shut the door behind them. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Remus, I want you to get naked, okay?” Patton said calmly. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus nodded, a little confused but more than happy to remove his restrictive clothing. Raising his arms to pull off his shirt sent a wave of stench through the room and Virgil, who was closest, actually coughed and plugged his nose. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The dirt wasn’t as thick under his shirt but the cuts and open wounds were numerous and large. His stomach was sallow, rib bones poking out and hips protruding. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Patton gasped at the sight, already ready to make Remus a nice filling meal. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">His pants came off, which apparently all he was wearing. Roman picked his clothes up between his thumb and pointer finger and threw them into a trash bag. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I’m… gonna light this on fire.” He remarked, throwing it out of the bathroom. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Hngh… itchy.” Remus mumbled, scratching his chest, moving along to under his armpit. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He seemed to get preoccupied with scratching up and down his thighs. Roman saw his opportunity and shoved his brother into the bath. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus shrieked as the water splashed up around him, the heat soaking into his bones making him shutter. The soap stung on his open sores, making him scream and thrash. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He kicked and flapped his arms, splashing everyone in the vicinity with soapy water. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“You HEATHENS!” He shrieked, splashing like a duck in a pond and absolutely drenching the other sides. “NO TRICKS!” His face screwed up with rage and he looked like a toddler before a tantrum. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Virgil tugged off his hoodie and grabbed one of the five soapy scrub brushes. “Ready?”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Logan started the shower, dousing Remus with warm water, and picking up yet another scrub brush. “Ready.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus’ eyes widened as all five of them grabbed soapy brushes and leaned over the bath. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Janus smirked. “Now this will be easier if you cooperate.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus screamed and tried to desperately climb out of the tub, slipping and sliding on the slick linoleum. “No no no! Please no! Put me back in the mud you MONSTERS!” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Janus clicked his tongue. He grabbed Remus’ ankle and before the duke could react he yanked as hard as could to pull Remus back into the bath. The duke screamed as he was forced under the soapy water, but Janus quickly let him go. He cupped Remus’ cheek. “We won’t hurt you, darling. Just get you nice and clean again.” He smirked and wiped the scrub brush across his cheek. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The streak of dirt that came away was black-brown. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus’ eyes welled with tears. “Gentle?” His voice cracked like the ice rink before someone falls in. “Please be gentle.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Janus gave him a soft smile. “Of course, love.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">As soon as the brushes touched down on his filthy skin Remus yelped and curled up as tight as he could. He thrashed and splashed and kicked, getting them all soaked. Logan’s shirt, Patton’s kakis, Roman and Virgil’s shirts, and Janus’ cape were all drenched. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">In order to keep most of the water in the tub, they had to work fast. Each side took up a different part of his body and scrubbed. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The water went from clear to brown to black as the stench cleared. Remus tossed and turned, trying desperately to buck them off as he screamed loud enough to shatter the glass of the mirror. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He couldn’t even voice the terrible thoughts running through his head, the ones saying being clean would somehow kill him. Or worse, they’d see him clean and hate that too, and throw him back to the mud. He deserved to soak in the filth for the rest of his life he was so despicable. The mud on the outside needed to match the grimy, slimy, rotten heart in his core. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Ugh!” Logan remarked, looking at the filthy bath water. “That’s your mess.” He said, pointing at the water and staring Remus in the eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Despite his thoughts Remus giggled and Logan scoffed, shaking his head as he started to drain the water. “We are not letting you out until the water is </span>
  <span class="s3">clean.” </span>
  <span class="s2">He said pointedly. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus gawked, sputtering his distaste as Patton scrubbed harder at his arm. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The bath filled up and quickly got dirty again. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Roman grabbed one of his ankles and kept a death grip on it as he scrubbed the sole of his foot. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus felt like he was going to cry. He was exhausted, hungry, and getting rubbed raw and doused in scalding water every two seconds. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He started whining and whimpering, kicking his feet to get them </span>
  <span class="s3">off. </span>
  <span class="s2">Patton’s hand was drawing closer and closer to his privates, and god forbid if he touches him Remus might just lose it. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“No!” He snapped sharply. Patton yanked his hand away, looking terrified. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Who would you like to touch you there, Remus?” Logan asked. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus considered his options. “Ro.” He said simply. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <em>
    <span class="s3">Fuck him, he’s already gonna touch your privates and incest really isn’t that bad-</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s3">No! </span>
  <span class="s2">He yelled at his thoughts. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He clung tightly to his brother as he got cleaned up, whimpers just getting louder as the thoughts got worse. “I know this is violating.” Roman said roughly. “But we have to get you clean, okay? At least I’m your brother.” His eyes softened as Remus continued to kick and yelp. “I know you don’t want to do this but I swear you’ll feel better when we’re done.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">It took two more times draining the bath and refilling it before the water was suitably clean and Remus was squeaky. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Shhh shhh. There we are.” Remus whimpered as Logan unplugged the bath to let it drain one final time. The brushes withdrew from his now ravaged skin and he whimpered again at the lack of touch. The shower rinsed him clean of any remaining dirt and when Janus drew a bar of soap across his arm it came away white. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Perfect. You’re all… clean…” Janus’ voice wavered as he gave Remus a once over. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Huge, gashing cuts, clearly meant to harm, laced over his arms, his stomach, his thighs. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Janus gasped. “Oh honey.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus crossed his arms and pulled his legs up to his chest. “I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“No, sweetie, don’t apologize, it’s okay.” Janus ran a gloved hand through Remus’ knotted hair and he leaned into the touch. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Patton examined the cuts closer. “Oh dear. Hopefully you can find a better coping strategy here.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The duke appeared to be distressed by that idea, yanking away from Janus and whining profusely, shaking his head. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“No- no no no… OW!” He shouted, slamming a fist into the side of his head. He slapped the side of his head repeatedly, whining and whimpering. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Is there a problem?” Logan asked, brow tense as he looked him up and down.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">His eyes widened. “Ah.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Flea bites. Up and down his legs, across his chest, even up onto his neck and jaw. He was completely ravaged by fleas. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Logan, his hair.” Janus said and Logan quickly spread the strands of matted hair to reveal red, scratched scalp covered in tiny black fleas. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus whined and rubbed his neck against his shoulder, scratching at his collarbone and calf. Most of the bites had been so scratched the skin had split and they were now open wounds. He appeared to get even more frustrated with a bite on his arm, scratching it until he wasn’t satisfied and began to gnaw on it to relieve the itching. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“No, no, don’t bite like that.” Janus said quickly. “Roman, summon us some flea shampoo.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Roman summoned a bottle full of green liquid and tossed it to Janus. Remus didn’t listen to being told not to scratch and only seemed to increase now that he could actually see where the bites were. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Now Remus, I need you to stay still as your can while I do your hair alright?” Logan said sternly. Remus nodded. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Ya gonna get the itches out?” He asked quietly, voice raw. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Yup.” Logan said, grabbing scissors, a comb, conditioner, and lifting up the separate clumps of Remus’ matted hair. “Just stay still.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">With gloved hands, Logan went to work pulling apart and combing through the thick knots. Once he got them apart, he sometimes had to cut or thin the knots before they could fully separate. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus tapped his fingers together, trying not to fidget. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">His neck itched. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He whined as his scalp was yanked, fingers roughly scratching at his neck. It was taking hours to go through his hair. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He focused instead on the warmth of the water over his lap and the feeling of fingers finally, finally touching him. It melted the ice in his bones, stopped the tingles over his skin. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Speaking of skin tingles. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He scratched another bite that he had already made an open sore. His neck itched, but he was already scratching two other bites…</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus jerked his head to the side, rubbing his neck against his shoulder. Logan gasped. “Remus, I said stay still.” He snapped, barely avoiding cutting more hair than he wanted. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Fuck off!” Remus whined. “Just, stop for a sec-“ </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Logan did, pausing to let Remus rub his neck on his shoulder for a second before scratching it with his nails. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Is your neck alright?” Logan asked, concerned. “Can I look at it?”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus reluctantly removed his hands. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Logan brushed his hair out of the way and looked closely at his neck. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Oh dear.” He clicked his tongue. “He has scabies.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">From his ear to his shoulder was a patch of bright red and slightly blistered skin, marked by red claw lines. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Roman shrieked. “He has WHAT?”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Scabies.” Logan removed and replaced his plastic gloves. “A rash caused by skin’s reaction to mites. Not very dangerous, but extremely uncomfortable.” He looked back at Remus, who was bent over and frantically itching his neck. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He sighed. “We can cure it, but we should remove the fleas first.” He picked up the comb. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He went to tackle his hair again, but Remus kept pulling back, forward, to the side. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Logan eventually gave up and set his tools down. “I can’t work if you keep jerking away.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus whimpered and bent over, pressing his head into his lap. “I’m sorry!” He screamed. “Please don’t send me back please! I’m sorry I got dirty and sick just please don’t leave me alone again!” He banged his fists into the linoleum as hard as he could, over and over again. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Janus grabbed the showerhead and angled it so the hot water hit Remus’ bony shoulder blades, the warmth relaxing him instantly. With a gloved hand, he ran his fingers through Remus’ half-untangled hair and lightly scratched over the patch of scabies. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Shh darling. We aren’t ever going to send you back, okay? Never.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus’ red, lamp-like eye peered up at him again. “Never ever?”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Janus smiled. “Never ever.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus grinned, then looked downtrodden. “‘M sorry I got bugs.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Oh don’t fret. This is only the… what, the third time?”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He chuckled. “This is a bad time though. I’ve got bites all over. And my neck itches real bad, worse than ever before.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I know.” Janus cooed, pity-filled voice appearing to soothe Remus even more. “Can you try really hard for me to stay still so Logan can untangle your hair and kill the itchy bugs?”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Can he kill them and then untangle my hair?”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Janus looked up at Logan, who sighed deeply. “Probably.” He groaned. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus clapped and bounced a little in his seat. He liked being dirty but the itching wasn’t fun, not one bit. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Logan poured a dollop of the flea shampoo onto his gloved hand and began to rub it deep into his scalp. Remus smiled and relished in the cold and the skin tingles disappearing with every touch of fingers against his skin. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">All of a sudden Remus jerked away again. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Ow!” He yelped. “Ow! My head’s on fire!”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Ah.” Logan said simply. “The open wounds. I should’ve mentioned this might sting. My apologies Remus.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">One of the others using his name, his real name, felt so personal and so loving he immediately fell silent. He let Logan continue to wash his hair thoroughly, and he only yipped a little when his open scrapes got soaped up. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He even tried to stay still while he had to wait for the shampoo to kill all the bugs in his hair. He only really moved to scratch at his scabies. He didn’t even move when Logan rinsed the soap out and used conditioner, or when he finished tackling all the matted knots. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He only moved when Logan finished rinsing out the conditioner and turned off the shower. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Good job Remus, I’m very proud of you for staying still.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus made a surprised noise at the praise. Logan… Logan was proud of him? That made his heart feel like it was being squeezed into a mushy pulp. In a good way. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Virgil climbed into the tub and gathered him in a soft fluffy towel, lifting him up with ease he was so thin. He sat him on the toilet seat and propped him up. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Now, the flea bites will only go away with time, but the scabies we can fix.” Janus said with a smile as he replaced his gloves. Roman gave him a jar of cream and he scooped out a dollop, beginning to smear it over the patch on Remus’ skin. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Ohhh.” Remus shut his eyes and pursed his lips in a moan. The cream was cool and instantly soothed the hot, itchy skin. “Do- do you have anything for the little bites?” He asked, as though he was unsure of getting more help. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Patton giggled and pulled out a bottle of calamine lotion from the medicine cabinet. “This will help too kiddo. You’ll look a little funny with pink splotches but that’s fine.” He dapped a bit of lotion on a cotton pad and worked from his feet up to cover each and every bite. Roman quickly joined in to help him, while Logan inspected his cuts. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“This will sting.” He said simply as he swiped disinfectant across the cuts on his arms. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus yelped and pulled away, only to be gently forced back into position. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Spread your legs.” Logan said and of course Remus snickered. He stopped laughing when Logan cleaned his wounds there too, though. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Ah, there’s the infection I expected.” Logan said, furrowing his brow at one of the cuts lacing Remus’ chest. That one had been aching on and off for days, and had started to form a pus bubble. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Now, it’s not too bad, and it’ll go away in a few days, but are there any other lacerations that have become infected?” He asked, cleaning it out and draining the pus. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Back of my thigh.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Logan helped Remus stand up and did the same thing on the cut there. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Soft gauze was wrapped around his wrists and bandages were taped over any cuts. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Patton stuck his tongue out as he peeled fun patterned bandaids over the smaller cuts. They were a multitude of colours with cartoons of bugs and other crawlers. Remus looked at them and smiled. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“You like the little buggies?” Patton giggled. “I picked them for you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus gave him a toothy smile. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Somehow, not being able to see them made him feel… clean. Safe. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He couldn’t remember the last time he felt truly safe. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Roman gave Janus a soft green tee shirt and a pair of boxers, and a pair of long green plaid flannel pants. He had to help Remus pull the shirt over his head and the pants up over his hips. The fabric was soft and light, yet durable. Then, he helped Remus brush his pointy teeth with his brand new toothbrush. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">After that was done, Remus slumped against the toilet back, too exhausted to hold himself up anymore. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Logan and Virgil, meanwhile, came into his line of sight. “Can you tell us your remaining symptoms?” Logan said, adjusting his glasses. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“‘M cold.” Now that he was out of the tub, he chill was pervasive, stuck in his bones like a sticky tapeworm. “I want someone to...” he thought about it for a moment. “To touch me. Please.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The sick, twisted crawling sensation felt like ants running up and down his skin that could only be squashed by another’s warm, soft hands. He knew, after so many nights alone, that holding himself never worked. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Janus perked up at that. “Would you like to sit on my lap, Ree?” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus nodded frantically and moved up on his shaking legs so Janus could sit. His bony butt hurt a lot on the cold linoleum, so Janus’ cushy lap was a nice change. Not to mention the arms around him soothing the hunger in his skin. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Any other symptoms?” Virgil asked, pushing Remus’ hand down so he wouldn’t scratch his flea bites. Janus crossed his arm around Remus’ elbows so he couldn’t bend to itch anything. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Hmm head is too empty. Been so full of bad thoughts, but now there’s… nothing.” Remus ran his fingers through his very soft hair. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“You’ve had a major change to your life and your system is probably still getting used to it.” Virgil explained. “What else are you feeling emotionally?”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus put his hand over his heart. “Nervous. Rattled. Shaky. U-upset…”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He fiercely gripped his shirt, balling it up in his hand. “I-I haven’t really processed anything, y-yet…” he drew in a shuttering breath and let out a choked sob. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Janus flipped Remus over so he could huddle into his slightly damp shirt. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I don’t… the thoughts are coming back…” he whined, squeezing his head between his hands. “I don’t want it, no I don’t want it!”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve to be clean, to be treated with such </span>
  <span class="s3">kindness. </span>
  <span class="s2">They should’ve just let a monster like him rot. That’s was his plan, then they had to come in and fuck it all up by taking him in and making him clean and comfortable. He deserved to be sent back to the mud and muck to die. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">But Janus held him close and tight, which stopped his skin from burning. And as he sobbed and cried and wailed, the others comforted him with praise. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“You belong here.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“We want you here.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Thomas needs you.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s3">NO! </span>
  <span class="s2">His mind screamed, because Thomas didn’t need him, didn’t need one bit of him when there was another, better copy right across the room. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">But as he screamed and cursed them and told them to just </span>
  <span class="s3">throw him back already</span>
  <span class="s2">, they didn’t listen. They didn’t listen when he fired off every curse word he knew at them for not putting him back in the filth. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Instead, they praised him. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">They said it was </span>
  <span class="s3">good, </span>
  <span class="s2">that he </span>
  <span class="s3">needed </span>
  <span class="s2">to let his feelings out, that he would feel better after sobbing like a baby. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Eventually, he did quiet down, the ringing in his ears faded, his tears stalled, and he was left with Janus whispering quiet praise. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The adrenaline had finally faded. After so much change and effort and discomfort, the pounds of adrenaline he’d been running on had been used up. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The first thing he noticed was how raw his throat was. It burned, like he was swallowing razors. He whimpered, wrapping a hand around his throat and squeezing. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">And he was tired. So so so tired. His legs felt like jello, like they would cave if he tried to stand. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He shivered, and cuddled deeper into Janus. “E-Everything hurts now…” he winced as speaking aggravated his throat. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Oh, adrenaline will do that to you. Natural painkiller, until it runs out.” Janus said with a sigh. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">With Janus’ hands over his stomach, he could feel it growl deeply. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Are you hungry?” He asked with a joking smile. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus made a rough, raspy sound and dug his nails into Janus’ thigh. “No move!”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Ow! Alright! Okay, I won’t move you.” Janus said, wincing with the pain. “Here, I can kola carry you, okay?”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">There was something so nostalgic about being wrapped in Janus’ arms, on his front, being carried to the kitchen for a snack. His snake still smelled like earth from his garden and green tea, his gloves still clutched his back and sent ripples of warmth through his body. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Okay, Patton’s gonna make you some soup.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Janus sat on the couch and adjusted Remus so they were comfortable. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“How much do you want kiddo?”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Big.” Remus said sleepily. “Like my dick.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Lagan chuckled and went over to the fridge as Patton started heating up a can of soup. “In the meantime, you get water to help your dehydration, a popsicle for doing such a good job!” He said cheerfully, filling up a glass with water. “And to soothe your throat.” He grabbed a cherry flavoured popsicle and a couple napkins, no sense in getting Remus all dirty again. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He handed him the popsicle and cup. Remus immediately shoved the sweet treat down his throat, moaning at the cold chill.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He did not, however, like how much it made him shiver. His sinuses were starting to reject being clear, slowly filling his head with fog. He finished up the popsicle and flopped back against Janus, taking the water cup and sipping it. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He groaned at the cool water helping his thirst and quickly drained the cup. He didn’t even realize he was so dehydrated. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The exhaustion was creeping in again, his mind getting foggy as he fought to keep his eyes open. He couldn’t sleep yet… not until he got food…</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He let out a choked sob. He just wanted to sleep. “Big breath in, darling.” Janus said quietly, rubbing soothing circles onto his thigh. “Big deep breaths.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He shut his eyes and did just that, focusing on breathing. Janus’ comforting hand moved up his bony hips and over onto his stomach. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Soup’s ready kiddo.” Patton said cheerfully, setting down the bowl on the coffee table. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus’ mouth filled with saliva and he slipped off of Janus’ lap. He picked up the bowl and tilted it, letting the delicious, hot soup flow into his mouth. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Woah kiddo! Slow down a bit.” Patton said quickly. “You’ll be sick if you eat too fast.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“But ‘m hungry.” He mumbled, setting down the bowl and wiping his mouth on his bandaged arm. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He went to grab the bowl again. “How about we do the deep breaths while you eat?” Janus said, pushing his hands down. “After every gulp of soup you have to take a breath.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus nodded and picked up the bowl. Take a gulp, breath, another gulp, breath. In no time the soup was finished. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The weight was warm and heavy in his stomach, the heat flowing through his veins. He shuttered and yawned, curling up with Janus. His hands cradled his aching, tired body, slowly rocking him back and forth. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Janus released his six arms to hold him even more securely, and to rub soothing circles on his back and stomach. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">His fingers pushed down on his stiff shoulder blades, deeply massaging the tense muscles there. A groan bubbled out of Remus’ throat as Janus massaged his achy muscles. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Feel good?” Remus nodded and groaned louder as Janus found a particularly good spot. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Yeah… there’s a flea bite there.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Hey!” Janus sounded offended, but he was fighting back a laugh. “You’re not supposed to scratch.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus just hummed and nuzzled his face against Janus’ shirt. The snake unbuckled his cape and draped it over Remus’ trembling shoulders. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Encased in the smell of his friend, Remus let out a jaw-cracking yawn. He rubbed his sleepy eyes and let his breath hitch. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Patton, do you have a bottle?” Someone asked, and soon a bottle of warm tea was pushed into his hands. He was too tired to get too good of a grip on it, but someone helped push it into his mouth. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He suckled on the plastic nipple, sighing at the flavour of hot mint tea. A part of him was embarrassed to drink from a bottle like a baby, but he was too tired to listen to the teasing. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Sleep, my darling, and feel better when you wake.” Janus mumbled, rocking the duke gently back and forth. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Virgil came back around with a plaid blanket in his arms, appearing to struggle with it a little. He placed it gently over Remus and made sure it settled. “It’s weighted.” He mumbled. “Always makes me feel better. Safe and stuff.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Thank you Virgil.” Janus said with a slight nod. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Remus let the weight sink into his sore muscles, stilling the endless fidgety energy he felt. Here, he could rest. Here, he didn’t have to worry about surviving tomorrow. Here, he was safe. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Safe with his friends, who saved him, kept him fed and clean, who would care for him. Exhaustion taking over, his eyes fell closed, and he rested. </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p3"> </p>
  </div></div>
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